Math = Love

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Things Teenagers Say Volume 22

Happy Thanksgiving!  I know I have so much to be thankful for this year.  One thing I'm thankful for is that not a day goes by where my students don't make me laugh.  So, I think it's only fitting to share some things teenagers say today.  :)



Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21


In high school, my trig teacher taught me to use the sentence "All students take calculus" to remember which trig ratios were positive in each quadrant of the coordinate plane.  I told my students that they were free to create their own sentence.  I was kinda hoping that creating their own sentence would help it stick in their brains a little better.  Here's what they came up with:

Satan always tempts children.  [Then, we had to discuss how the letters needed to reflect the numbering of the quadrants...]
Adults sometimes tickle children.
All selfies; too cute.
All sisters talk crap.
Aliens sometimes take cows.

--

Note to self.  Don't wear all black to school.  Your students will ask all sorts of crazy questions?  

Student 1: Why are you wearing all black today?  Did your cat die?
Me: [Sigh] I don't own a cat.
Student 1: Well, you don't own a cat now.  It died.
Student 2: Guys, maybe her plant died.  Maybe that's why she's wearing all black.

In another class:

Why are you wearing all black  Did you run over a cat on your way to school?  I bet you left your house dressed all colorfully like you normally are.  Then, you ran over a cat and went back to your house to put on black clothes in mourning.  

Student 1: I know why you're wearing all black.  You're actually a werewolf.  
Student 2: Wait - Ms. Hagan can't be a werewolf.  She doesn't eat meat.
Student 1: She must be a vegewolf, then. 

--

Student: Can you PEMDAS this for me?
Me: What?!?
Student: Oh, I meant can you DESMOS this for me?
Me: Of course! :)

--

Sure. My number is 918-BACK-OFF.

--

Student 1: If I buy you a cat can I have an A?
Student 2: What if I buy you three cats, could I have an A?
Student 3: What if I buy you a boyfriend?
Student 4: What if I buy you a plant?

--

Student: Did you meet your boyfriend at church?
Me: No.
Student: Well, that means you can't marry him then.

--

Pi Girl is mean.

--

Would you still love me if I had ebola?

--

Stop "Not Yetting" and start writing "Almost There."

--

I just got strangled by a ghost in Ms. Hagan's class.

--

Do you know what my dad calls people who don't eat meat?  Un-American

--

A misdemeanor isn't THAT bad.

--

I sent a girl a direct message on twitter.  I told her that I had looked through her insta photos, and it looked like she was suffering from a lack of Vitamin "ME." 

--

Your patience is really short right now.  I think you should lengthen it. 

--

If you were an angle, you'd be an acute one.  

--

She ain't Chef Boyardee or Paula Deen. 

--

I hope the desk breaks and he breaks his pelvis bone. 

--

I've got chemistry on my hand.

--

If you're wondering why I wrote "elims" on my homework, it's "smile" spelled backwards.

--

Wow Ms. Hagan.  You have a good mind.  Sometimes.

--

Wow, in five years, you're going to be 30!  

--

Student 1: Look at Ms. Hagan, all bundled up.
Student 2: Yeah, she's like a little vegan burrito over there. 

--

Do you know what?  I've never seen an ugly twin in my life.  I wonder if they even exist. 

-- 

I hate twins.  [Said by a twin.]

--

I saw that homework you're going to give us today.  And, I want to punch you in the forehead because of it.  

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

A Perfect Square Birthday

Hi guys!  So, I realize my blog has been a lot quieter this school year than in the past.  There are several reasons for that.  Teaching.  Grad School.  Life.  If you're really nosy, there's a clue hidden somewhere in this blog post. ;)

The big news for the week is that I celebrated my 25th birthday yesterday in grand style.  Yes, I'm super happy about having my age be a perfect square.  It's going to be quite some time before this happens again!  It's the math teacher in me that's super excited.  Sorry, I just can't help it.  :)  Last year was my first year to actually teach on my birthday, and I blogged about it.  So, I decided I simply had to continue the tradition this year.

I may also have been building up the fact that this is my golden birthday year since the first day of school.  We've only been counting down for my birthday since August... (And, if you're like I was a year ago, you might not know what a golden birthday is.  It's when your age and the day of the month you were born on match.)    

If you've read last year's birthday post, two of my students baked me a cake and gave me a birthday girl ribbon.  This year, they topped that.  First, they gave me a birthday girl sash.  And, yes, I wore this around ALL DAY long.  I did get some funny looks from other teachers in the hall...  I think they were just jealous of my stylish sash. ;)


This sash was accompanied by what may be the best, most math-y birthday cake.  Ever.  



Okay.  I have a feeling that I'm going to have to explain this cake for it to make any sense at all.  One of the big things I teach my Algebra 2 students to do is to simplify radical expressions.  In building up to this, I re-teach my students to find the prime factorization of numbers.  Factor trees are a bit too messy and disorganized for me.  I feel like it's easy for students to miss some of the factors when they right their answers from the tree.  So, I prefer to teach my students the "Birthday Cake Method of Prime Factorization".  

The number you are trying to fine the prime factorization of goes on the bottom layer of your cake.  On the outside of the bottom layer, write a prime number that divides into the bottom layer.  Perform the division and write the quotient as the next layer.  Continue writing prime numbers that divide into each layer on the outside until a 1 appears on top of the cake.  We call this the "birthday candle."  And, I make a HUGE deal of drawing a flame on my one every single time.  

Last year, I actually had my Algebra 2 students find the prime factorization of my age.  But, let's be honest, 24 has a much more exciting prime factorization than 25.  

So, my students took this birthday cake method and made me a literal birthday cake out of it.  How cool and creative is that?!?  



My boyfriend surprised me with this gorgeous vase of colorful roses.  So sweet and thoughtful.  The flowers were admired all day long by me and everybody that saw them.  As I write this blog post, they're sitting on my coffee table.  And, I find myself legitimately distracted from time to time by their beauty.  

And, this was just the start of celebrating.  Let's just say that I consumed waaaaaaayyyy too much sugar yesterday.

There were birthday brownies to be had.


And, chocolate birthday pie.  


I can't forget the birthday cookies either.  They came with a pretty sweet mathematical card, too.  



I think we should totally start using infinity symbols instead of dashes when we write.  Anybody else in?  

There was a birthday cupcake.  


A birthday mug.  



Google even got in the birthday spirit and showed me a special birthday search screen.  At first, I thought it was a coincidence.  But, hovering over the image made it say "Happy Birthday Sarah."  

Kinda creepy.  Kinda cool.  Google knows a lot about its users, I guess.  I shouldn't be surprised when it uses some of that information.  
  

Then, there were the birthday messages on the dry erase board.  

These two are supposed to be me.  My main takeaway?  I have an awesome sense of fashion.  


One class changed their twitter status to wish me a happy birthday.  


This next birthday message was slightly more interesting.  


Can you read what it says under the smudge?  "I don't think you're preggy btw."  How nice.  I appreciate that.  Of course, this is from the same student who interrupted class last week to ask, "Can I ask you a personal question?  I don't want you to get mad at me when I ask.  I don't want you to think that I'm saying you look fat."  If my students are anything, they are definitely honest.  They say whatever comes into their minds.  (And, for the record, I am not pregnant.)    

Don't I just make teaching teenagers seem like the best job in the world?!?  

Here are a couple of birthday cards that made me smile.    


Of course, I guessed "Happy Birthday."  I had a feeling it was too easy of a puzzle.  

I was wrong.  And, I ended up hanging the poor stick guy.  

No words.  No words.  


 Math made an appearance in this card which made me super happy.


P.S. Don't forget the pi.  How cute is that?!?



 And, I feel like I've only just started to mention all the awesome things that people did to make my 25th birthday my best birthday yet.  Phone calls.  Text messages.  Facebook messages.  Tweets.  E-mails.  Birthday cards.  Hearing a student yell "Happy Birthday" across the parking lot before I can even take a few steps from my car.

 God has blessed me so much.  So so so much.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Things Teenagers Say Volume 21

Because my students have been complaining that I haven't posted any new things teenagers say lately...  And, I don't want them to be sad every time they go to my blog and find no new posts.

For the rest of you, I promise that one of these days I'll find time to post some actual math teacher-y content.  Let's just say life and grad school have been keeping me busy, busy.  :)


Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20


Ms. Hagan, did you go to squiggly bracket school?  Because you draw them so well.

--

Student: Why are you eating deer food?
Me: What are you talking about?
Student: That - it's deer food.
Me:  Those are pretzels.  I'm pretty sure those are people food.

--

Student: Why is the time on your clock wrong?
Me: I don't know.
Student: Maybe a murderer came in here and changed it.

I'm sure that's the explanation...

--

I went over and talked to him like civilized civilians.

--

Student: Do you hear that ringing sound?
Me: That's the telephone in the teacher's lounge.  It's directly on the other side of the wall from where you're sitting.
Student: Do you ever go and answer the phone in the teacher's lounge?
Me: No.
Student: Why not?  It could be ISIS calling.

--

Me: I killed a mouse in my house this weekend.
Student: You mean your cat killed a mouse this weekend.
Me: Guys, how many times do I have to tell you?  I don't have a cat.
Student:  That's right.  You have cats.  Plural.

--

Does math ever just make you want to punch a baby in the face?

--

If I pull out duct tape, don't worry.  I'm not going to hurt anybody.

--

If you'd give me the answers, I wouldn't call you a "cat lady."

--

Student: Ms. Hagan, you have a different voice when you're talking on the phone.  It's high-pitched and preppy.  
Me: Okay...
Student: It's okay.  I do the same thing when I'm ordering my food at Sonic.

--

Ms. Hagan, if your twitter followers saw how dirty your classroom was, they would not approve.

#OUCH

--

Student: I don't understand how you can't eat meat.  It's the circle of life.  I mean, God gave us meat to eat.
Me: God also gave us vegetables to eat.
Student: If God wanted you to be a rabbit, he would have made you a rabbit.

--

Me: What did you do this weekend?
Student: I got stuck under my house for a couple of hours with a dead squirrel and a couple of snakes.

--

Me: I'm going to go refill my water bottle while you start this problem.
Student: Don't drown in the water fountain.

--

Did you write equations on the candy you gave out for Halloween?

--

They're skipping class.  You need to get your bell and go all Pi Girl on them.

--

Student: Ms. Hagan, how good is your sexual vocabulary?
Me: So, that's not a question you should be asking your math teacher.
Student: Well, somebody called me this name.  And, I'm not sure what it means.  But, I don't want to say it out loud in case it means something bad and you know what it means and I get in trouble.
Me: That's what google is for.  

--

When my students won't quit talking, I will often stand silently until everyone stops talking...

Student: Ms. Hagan, I don't like it when you give us the silent treatment.  
Me: I don't like it when you give me the non-silent treatment.

--

During Friday Funnies: 

Me: What do you have if you have 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other hand?  
Student: Well, you definitely don't have scurvy.

--

Did you stick the poster to the door with bubble gum?  Ewwww!

That would be sticky tack...

--

I bet you scared a lot of kids on Halloween.  You probably made them answer math questions to get candy.  Or, you really scared them by giving out math worksheets.

--

Hey, do you know how to cut someone else's finger off?

--

Hey guys, have you ever wondered what Ms. Hagan's children would look like if she had an affair with the principal?

That would be a NO.  

--

I found a random bobby pin on the floor, so I'm going to turn it into a shank.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Things Teenagers Say Volume 20

Takeaways from the latest set of crazy things my kids say in class:

* My students will never stop thinking of me as a crazy cat lady. 

* I've also taken up the title of "crazy plant lady."  And, I do NOT have a green thumb.  

* My kiddos say what they think.  A lot.  


Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19

--

I didn't really know what teachers did after school.

--

Ms. Hagan, everything that you say is really cool is actually really lame.

--

After telling a group of students about my Twitter Math Camp experience...

Student: Could I go with you next year to Twitter Math Camp?  I could be your math camp assistant!  
Me: Ha ha.  I don't think I need an assistant.  
Student:  At golf tournaments, the players have golf caddies.  I could be your calculator caddie. 

--

Student: Slope. Ugh.
Me: Students complaining in class. Ugh.
Student: Go to the office.
Me: Well, then...

--

I can't see that. I'm mentally blind.

--

So, I read stalked you on twitter last night.  I was like: "How funny could a teacher actually be on twitter?!?"  But, then I just sat on my bed and read your twitter and laughed out loud.  You're actually funny!

--  

Student: Can you pull your hair in front of your ears?
Me: Yesssssss...
Student: Will you do it?
Me: Whyyyyyyyyyy?
Student: Well, I've only ever seen your hair behind your ears.  I was starting to wonder if it was surgically attached there. 
Me: Getting back to the lesson now...

--

Student 1: Ms. Hagan, you need to step up your calculator game.
Student 2: Ms. Hagan's calculator game is strong.

--

Could you kiss a pig?  I mean, you can't have meat on your mouth.

--

I thought you would be okay with kissing a pig.  You love animals.  I mean you don't eat them.  

--

Are you going to take your cats trick-or-treating?

--

When you take up for the cats like that, we know you're a cat lady.

--

Why aren't you doing prom?  You could use the extra money you'd make to buy more cat food.

--

You mean this tape measure is in inches?

#yeschildthoseareinches 

--

Are you going to take your mask off in honor of Halloween?

--

Can you desmos this?

--

ALL of your calculators are broken.
 
It turns out hitting the enter button does not turn on a graphing calculator...

--

Do you know what I say when people ask me if I have a math class? I say no; I have a roller coaster class.

--

How could you be scared of Ms. Hagan?  She talks to her plants.

--

People who love math are always lonely. 


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Spirit Week 2014

This post could be alternately titled: I Am Pi Girl.  This isn't the most math-y post, but if you stick with reading it, you will get to see a picture of me in my mathematical superhero costume. :)

Technically, I get paid by my school district to do two things.  Teach math.  And, oversee the student council.  Math is definitely my forte.  Student council is not.  I was not the type of student in high school who would have joined student council.  And, I would have never volunteered for this position.  But, when they hired me, they needed someone for the job.  And, first-year teacher me did not know how to say "no."  Let's be honest.  Third-year teacher me still doesn't know how to say no, either.

My big responsibility with student council is homecoming.  We design and sell homecoming t-shirts as a fundraiser.  That's always a big stress on me.  So glad that's over with!

Homecoming ended up being reschedule this year.  I'm not even going to try to explain how that happened.

But, last week was Spirit Week.  Take Two.  (Our first spirit week was only two days long due to Fall Break.  We celebrated 'Merica Monday and Twinsie Tuesday).



My StuCo kids decided to go with a Disney theme this year.



Monday was Sleeping Beauty Day.  Much to the dismay of my students, I did NOT wear my pajamas.  Even when I was a student in school, I never participated in pajama day.  There's just something about wearing your pjs to school that doesn't set well with me.  I told my students that I have standards for myself that involve me not wearing my pjs to school. :)


Tuesday was Monsters University Day.  I did participate in this one by representing my alma mater, The University of Tulsa.  Over the course of the day, I was shocked by how many kids didn't know where I went to college.  I told them on the first day of school.  And, I have multiple TU flags hanging in my classroom.  I guess I should really get around to hanging up my college diploma...  Some of my students didn't even know that the college I went to existed.  According to Google maps, it's only 44 miles away from where I teach now.  And, we don't have THAT many colleges in Oklahoma.  I guess this is a sign that I should talk about college more with my students...



Wednesday was Ohana Day.  Apparently, I need to brush up on my Lilo and Stitch knowledge.  Because, I didn't know what the word "Ohana" meant.  But, as I heard a hundred times this week, "Ohana means family.  Family means no one gets left behind." In the past, Hawaiian Day was one of the few spirit days I've participated in.  It's pretty easy to throw on a Hawaiian print blouse and a lei.  But, this year, my mom suggested that I borrow her Hawaiian muumuu.  Yeah...

I tried the dress on, and it was...well...not exactly what I normally wear to school.  It doesn't make sense why I would be so worried about what other people would think of me if I wore this.  Adding a belt to the outfit made it more flattering.  And, I got up the courage to leave the house in it.  What I didn't think about was the weather.  The previous day had been pretty warm.  But, a cold front had blown in the night before.  I have a really bad habit of making wardrobe decisions based on the previous day's weather, and this was no exception.  

The walk from my car to the school in 37 degree weather was QUITE chilly.  (And, for the record, that's 37 degrees Fahrenheit.  For my Celsius-minded readers, that's 2.777 degrees Celsius.)  All day long, my students told me I was insane for wearing a dress in this weather.  At least no one was doubting my school spirit.         


Thursday was Incredibles Day.  We were supposed to dress like our favorite superheros.  This is the day I was most excited for.  As soon as my student council kids planned this day, I started planning my costume.  I was going to be a superhero.  A mathematical superhero.  I mean, what type of superhero could be cooler??? ;)

A few years ago, my church did a castle themed Vacation Bible School.  Since I was emceeing our daily meetings, I dressed up with a cloak and sparkly pink crown.  For the entire week, the kids called me "Queen Sarah."  Some of them would even bow down to me whenever they saw me.  That wasn't exactly what I'd intended...

I texted my mom to see if she knew where my cloak was.  Because, a cloak is awfully similar to a superhero cape...  My original plan was to attach a giant pi symbol to the back of my cape...  But, my sister vetoed this idea.  Eventually, I settled on making a pi shirt to wear under my cape.  The pi symbol was printed out and then cut out of purple felt.  

Yes, I came to school dressed as Pi Girl.

    
My first hour spent quite a bit of time making fun of my cape.  They decided they could do just as good by tying their jackets around their necks.  I thought this made them look like they should be wandering around a country club myself, but...


I really think they were just super jealous of my costume.  I mean, let's be honest.  How many people can pull this off?  PLEASE do not answer that question. :)



Friday was our only non-Disney themed day: Spirit Day.


My student council kids even created our own hash tag for Instagram.  What can I say?  Our homecoming was #legit.


I'm so proud of how hard my student council kids worked to pull this week off.  The amount of thought and effort they put into their own spirit week costumes was inspiring.  I can't wait to see what we come up with for Basketball Homecoming!

Monday, October 20, 2014

Things Teenagers Say Volume 19

The awkwardness level in my classroom can reach epic proportions some days.  I think this post is proof of that.  


Previous Volumes of Things Teenagers Say
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18

Student: How old are you?
Me: Almost 25.  Why?
Student: Does this mean you can't be my bae?  And, I'm almost 18.  It'll be legal soon.
Me: I'm your teacher.  I will never under any circumstances be your "bae."
Student: But, I need a Ms. Hagan in my life.  I mean you're smart.  If we were together, I could work, and then I could come home and you could answer my questions.  Like, what are taxes?  I need someone just like you in my life.  Except you're a vegetarian.  And, I'd want to come home to a steak sometimes.  I'd come home from work and ask what was for dinner.  And, you'd be like "Salad, honey."  
Me: This is officially the weirdest conversation I have ever had with a student.  Thanks.  
Student: Now, imagine you were a high school version of Ms. Hagan.  You know you'd be interested in me!  You would.  Wouldn't you?  
Me: Ummmm....I'm going to go back to grading papers.  And, you're going to go back to working on your homework assignment.  And, we're going to pretend that this conversation never happened.  Okay?  

#mostawkwardconvoever 

--

Me: What is the only number which is spelled in alphabetical order? 
Student: Pi
Me: Pi is not spelled in alphabetical order.
Student: Yes it is!  Oh wait. I forgot.  Pi would be in alphabetical order if it wasn't for the e.

 --

Can we name your aloe vera plant undefined?  Some of its leaves are vertical.

--

Student: Oh, do you mean that one A-Town that's down by Antarctica?
Me: Australia?
Student: Yeah.  That's what it's called. 

--

You can give us homework AFTER football season.

#NiceTry 

--

While writing down something a student said for a future Things Teenagers Say post...

I know what that means.  You're going to put that on your computer thingy.

I guess the word blog isn't in their vocabulary???

--

Homework gives you eye cancer.

Oh really?  

--

You're an algebra teacher who doesn't eat meat.  You have nothing to live for.

--

Ms. Hagan wants to cut off our heads and put them on stakes in her front yard.

Where did that come from?  

--

Stop it!  You are possessing the lights.

--

I'd set you up with my uncle, but he's in jail.

#NoWords 

--

Student: There are two states that he cannot pronounce.
Me: And, what two states are those?
Student: New Zealand and Tennessee
Me: Ummmmmm...one of those is a state.  The other one is a country.

--

Me: What do you call it if the fraction has been flipped?
Student: Abuse.

--

Student: Ms. Hagan, you made my brain hurt today.
Me: Good!  That means I'm doing my job!

--

Me: What would we multiply the numerator and denominator by to get rid of the radical in the denominator?
Student:  Freedom. We would multiply by freedom.

--

Somebody spit their gum out on my desk, and I don't want to get ebola.

--

Ms. Hagan, maybe you should work at Lambert's so you can learn some throwing skills.

--

Student: Ms. Hagan, what was your good thing this weekend?
Me: Well, I went to Oklahoma City on Saturday.  And, I got to spend all day doing math; it was fabulous!
Student: Have you ever thought of maybe getting a husband?  Or children?

--

Can we take a field trip to a slaughterhouse?

--

Normal sharks are the size of a school bus.

--

What would you do if someone put a raw pork chop on your windshield?

--

Me: *Rings Bell*
Entire Class In Unison: You should not be talking.

Apparently I may say that a little too often...

--

Male Student: I have a good thing.
Me: Okay.  What is it?
Male Student: [Female Student], I have a serious question to ask you.
<Very Awkward Pause>
Male Student: Would you go out with me?
<More Very Awkward Silence>

Moving on...
--

Student 1: Did you find any dead animals this weekend?
Student 2: No, but I did find a random man sleeping underneath my house.

--

Ms. Hagan, every time I see math, I think of you.

Awwwwww...  #thatspresh 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Fall Break

Fall Break is over.

It's kinda sad.  No, it's really sad.

I started Fall Break with grand plans.  I was going to tackle my to do list.  I was going to catch up in life.  Oh, life happened.  That's for sure.  But, I'm not sure I feel any more ahead than I did five days ago.

I marked a few things off of my to do list.  I read a book on approaching life with bravery and courage.  And, I did some things that I wouldn't have had the courage to do a year ago or six months ago or even two months ago.

Tomorrow, my alarm will go off super early.  And as much as I'd rather sleep in and continue this break, I will go into school.  And, I will put a smile on my face.  That smile might be a little forced at first, but it will soon be replaced with a genuine grin that I can't help.  I will continue teaching my 101 students that they CAN do math.  I will remind them that their future is not defined by their past but by the amount of hard work they are willing to put in.  I will challenge them.  I will push them.  I will make a fool of myself trying to convince them that math is awesome.  We will laugh.  We will joke.  We will learn algebra and trig.  

And, when they complain and say things like "Ms. Hagan, you make my brain hurt," I will just smile and say, "You're welcome."

I. love. this. job.