Lately, I've starting having doubts if I actually teach high school.
(These are all actual things I've found myself saying this week!)
1. "Please take the cardboard box off of your head." As review for the EOI, my Algebra 1 students were playing Around the World. One of my class periods was really into the game. I had students yelling when they didn't advance. After one student lost, I looked over to see him laying in the floor like he was about to have a temper tantrum. Later, I look back over, and he is sitting in the floor with a cardboard box on his head. And, this was no small cardboard box. It was probably 3 feet tall, 2 feet wide, and 1 foot deep. I had gotten some fundraiser material in it for student council. I still can't figure out why in the world he would feel compelled to place it over his head...
2. "Please stop making pterodactyl noises." Honestly, I don't know if they were pterodactyl noises. But, my students said they were pterodactyl noises. And, they were extremely annoying and distracting. How do we even know what pterodactyls sounded like? I'm pretty sure they went extinct a long time before we had the means of recording sounds. And, of course, as soon as one student starting making pterodactyl noises, the other students sitting around him had to start making them, too. It's really hard to keep a straight face while repeatedly asking students to stop making pterodactyl noises.
3. "Please don't lick your desk." One of my students thought it would be more fun to drink his Sprite by pouring small amounts from his bottle into the cap of his bottle and drinking it from there. Another student thought it would be funny to make his desk shift slightly at the exact moment he went to take his drink. The student's capful of Sprite ended up spilling all over his desk. Not wanting it to go to waste, he decided he would lick it off his desk. At one point, I actually saw his mouth touch the desk. The other students were outraged, too. And, I think their comments may have been more powerful in stopping him than my plea. I would not eat anything that touched the top of one of my students' desks. They might get cleaned every nine-to-twelve weeks. (Though, I do have one student who brought her own bottle of Clorox wipes to store in my classroom. And, she sanitizes her desk and her friends' desks every day before class.)