Math = Love: Things Teenagers Say - Volume 11

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Things Teenagers Say - Volume 11

It's hard to believe that I've already made it to Volume 11 of Things Teenagers Say!  I love teaching teenagers because you never know what they are going to say.  Sure, they can be silly.  And, sometimes inappropriate.  But, they can also be thoughtful and profound.

To see previous volumes of Things Teenagers Say, click below.

Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10

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Student: Do you know what Victoria Secret is?
Me: Yes, it's a lingerie store.
Student: No, it's not.  They sell underwear, too!
Me: Ummm... That's what lingerie is.

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Do you know what's sad, Ms. Hagan?  You have more friends than I do.  There's always people in your room before school and at lunch!

What can I say?  I guess I'm just popular.  :)  

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Me: Class, it is never appropriate to get out of your seat during a lesson, pick up a desk, and threaten to throw it at a student.
Student: But, he was calling me names!  

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Student: Have you ever seen Madea Goes to Jail?
Me: No, I've never seen any of the Madea movies.
Student: Then, have you seen Madea's Family Reunion?
Me: No.
Student: What about A Madea Christmas?
Me: Nope.  I haven't seen that one either.
Student: When I get older and it's more appropriate, I'm going to take you to a Madea movie!

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Student: You have a facebook account?!?!?
Me: Yeah.  Is that so hard to believe?
Student: Yes.
Me: You do realize that I was a college student less than two years ago.  Most college students have a facebook account.
Student: Well, we forget how young you actually are because you're just an old soul.

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I overheard this conversation while two students were walking into my classroom...

Student 1: Is this yours?  Do you want it back?
Student 2: It's not mine.  I don't want it!
Me: (jokingly) It's mine.  I'll take it back.
Student 1: Okay.  It's yours.

The next thing I know, a tampon comes whizzing across the room and lands in my lap.  Thankfully, it was new and unopened.  But, I learned a lesson that day.  Never joke about something being yours unless you know what it is!  The male student who threw it at me did come and retrieve it.  He took it back out in the hall to give it to somebody else.  I don't even want to know...

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Student: Did you bring a pistol to school today?
Me: No!  Why would you ever think that I would do something like that ?!?
Student: Well, yesterday was National Tortilla Chip Day.
Me: And???
Student: And, you had tortilla chips behind your desk.  Today is Pistol Patent Day.  So, I thought that you might have brought a pistol with you today.
Me: No...

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Student: Is it okay if I tell you something?
Me: Sure!
Student: What if it makes you mad?  Do you still want me to tell it to you?
Me: Why not?
Student: Okay, don't be mad at me for saying this, but you've been a lot meaner since we came back from Christmas Break!

Good news, guys!  My new year's resolution is working!  

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Me: Does anybody else have a good thing to share from this weekend?
Student: I made $60 from stripping...<insert very awkward pause!> ...wire.

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How did this get here?

Said after a student randomly pulled a milk bone out of his backpack while looking for his homework...

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After dropping my SMART Board marker for the second time in one class period:

Student: Did you eat popcorn for lunch?
Me: No, why would you think that?
Student: Well, you've got butter fingers.  And, you usually get those from eating popcorn.

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Students are examining equations to determine if they are parallel, perpendicular, or intersecting but not perpendicular.

Student: I'm in a pickle here!
Me: Yes, you're right!  Those lines are perpendicular because their slopes are opposite reciprocals.
Student: Wait.  I never answered.
Me: Yes, you did.  You said they were perpendicular!
Student: No, I said, "I'm in a pickle here."
Me: Oops...

In my defense, I'm in a pickle here sounds a lot like perpendicular!

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Me: Who can give me an example of parallel lines that you might encounter in real life?
Student: Crack lines are often parallel.
Me: Yes, that wasn't exactly what I was going for.  I was thinking something more along the lines of train tracks.

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Do you want to see a picture of my wisdom teeth?

I've never seen a student carry around an x-ray of their teeth in the front pocket of their binder before...

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Watch your mouth!  I'm Catholic!

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Student: If it wasn't for bananas, we would be dead.
Me: Why?
Student: Monkeys would go crazy without bananas, and then they would kill us.

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Me: I was feeling nice, so I typed out all the steps for you.
Student: You need to feel nice more often!

2 comments:

  1. I love the Facebook comment haha.
    My students are always amazed when they realize I have an Instagram.
    I can't help thinking "I'm only 23!!"

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    Replies
    1. I completely understand! I'm 24, and it amazes me how old students think I am sometimes. I've had students in the same class think I was anywhere between 21 and 40!

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