I wish I knew why blogging has been so difficult for me lately.
Today is day #245 of 2014. This marks blog post #182 of the year. 182 blog posts in 245 days. What this means is that I've written a new blog post approximately 75% of the days of this year. (This isn't entirely true. I tend to blog in spurts. I will sometimes take a few hours to sit and right out 4 or 5 blog posts at once. Then, I schedule them to be posted on separate days. Life gets in the way, so I blog when I have time to do so.) However, I've written sporadically lately. It's not that I don't have something to say. Anybody who knows me knows that I have a TON to say. When I get to writing, I have a tendency to over share.
I think Twitter Math Camp was a wake-up call to me. Before TMC, I knew that a lot of people read my blog. After all, I watch my page views and referral links religiously. What I didn't really know was that a lot of math teacher bloggers who I look up to and highly respect also read my blog. These are the people whose blogs I started reading when I was in high school and college. Everything I know about teaching math was learned from these people. When they came up and introduced themselves to me at TMC, I was floored. You know who I am? You've read my blog? I should be gushing to you about how I love your blog and how it has changed my life.
Lesson learned. Just because someone has never left a comment on your blog or sent you a tweet, it doesn't mean that they aren't reading your blog. I guess realizing just who is reading my blog has made me more hesitant to post. It really shouldn't matter. These people read my blog before I knew they were reading it. I don't think I'm going to run them off with my honesty.
I also recently made the decision to be more open with people I know in real life about my blogging. This has meant telling my students that I write a blog. Now, whenever I take a picture or write down something someone says, they ask, "Am I going to be on your blog?" One class wanted to know exactly what my blog was called. There was laughter and groans when I revealed the name. This has also meant telling coworkers about my blog. I don't know if any of them have actually done a search to find it, though. I've told parents of students about my blog. That may be the scariest one of all! Then, I've faced the dilemma of whether I should mention the fact that I write a blog about teaching math to someone I've been set up on a blind date with. I've come to the conclusion that if a guy things I'm crazy for blogging about teaching math, he's probably NOT the type of guy I want to marry. Though, if a guy did set down and read all of the 394 blog posts I've written, I might question his sanity. :)
I wonder sometimes what impression people have of me based on my little corner of the web. This blog has became something I never expected it to become. I have became a teacher I never expected to become. I take risks. I make mistakes. I love my kids like crazy. I teach them more math than they ever though possible. I make math fun. I have the chance to become not just a teacher but a teacher leader. This blog is one of my steps toward that goal.
I need to go back and remember why I blog, though. I blog for me. I blog because I process best through written reflection. I blog because I have a terrible memory. How did I teach this topic last year? Let's go back and read the blog post about it. I blog because I desire community. My blog made me a part of the MTBoS. I blog because I have a desire to share. I blog because I believe that my sharing will lead others to share. I blog because I want my impact to expand beyond the city limits of Drumright, Oklahoma. I blog to connect.
From here on out, I will stop apologizing about what I blog about. I blog for me, not you. I will not feel guilty when I do not blog. My blogging will happen based on what I need. Dan Meyer told us to be selfish. I'm taking his advice.