Math = Love: Things Teenagers Say Volume 21

Monday, November 17, 2014

Things Teenagers Say Volume 21

Because my students have been complaining that I haven't posted any new things teenagers say lately...  And, I don't want them to be sad every time they go to my blog and find no new posts.

For the rest of you, I promise that one of these days I'll find time to post some actual math teacher-y content.  Let's just say life and grad school have been keeping me busy, busy.  :)


Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20


Ms. Hagan, did you go to squiggly bracket school?  Because you draw them so well.

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Student: Why are you eating deer food?
Me: What are you talking about?
Student: That - it's deer food.
Me:  Those are pretzels.  I'm pretty sure those are people food.

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Student: Why is the time on your clock wrong?
Me: I don't know.
Student: Maybe a murderer came in here and changed it.

I'm sure that's the explanation...

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I went over and talked to him like civilized civilians.

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Student: Do you hear that ringing sound?
Me: That's the telephone in the teacher's lounge.  It's directly on the other side of the wall from where you're sitting.
Student: Do you ever go and answer the phone in the teacher's lounge?
Me: No.
Student: Why not?  It could be ISIS calling.

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Me: I killed a mouse in my house this weekend.
Student: You mean your cat killed a mouse this weekend.
Me: Guys, how many times do I have to tell you?  I don't have a cat.
Student:  That's right.  You have cats.  Plural.

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Does math ever just make you want to punch a baby in the face?

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If I pull out duct tape, don't worry.  I'm not going to hurt anybody.

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If you'd give me the answers, I wouldn't call you a "cat lady."

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Student: Ms. Hagan, you have a different voice when you're talking on the phone.  It's high-pitched and preppy.  
Me: Okay...
Student: It's okay.  I do the same thing when I'm ordering my food at Sonic.

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Ms. Hagan, if your twitter followers saw how dirty your classroom was, they would not approve.

#OUCH

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Student: I don't understand how you can't eat meat.  It's the circle of life.  I mean, God gave us meat to eat.
Me: God also gave us vegetables to eat.
Student: If God wanted you to be a rabbit, he would have made you a rabbit.

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Me: What did you do this weekend?
Student: I got stuck under my house for a couple of hours with a dead squirrel and a couple of snakes.

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Me: I'm going to go refill my water bottle while you start this problem.
Student: Don't drown in the water fountain.

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Did you write equations on the candy you gave out for Halloween?

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They're skipping class.  You need to get your bell and go all Pi Girl on them.

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Student: Ms. Hagan, how good is your sexual vocabulary?
Me: So, that's not a question you should be asking your math teacher.
Student: Well, somebody called me this name.  And, I'm not sure what it means.  But, I don't want to say it out loud in case it means something bad and you know what it means and I get in trouble.
Me: That's what google is for.  

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When my students won't quit talking, I will often stand silently until everyone stops talking...

Student: Ms. Hagan, I don't like it when you give us the silent treatment.  
Me: I don't like it when you give me the non-silent treatment.

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During Friday Funnies: 

Me: What do you have if you have 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other hand?  
Student: Well, you definitely don't have scurvy.

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Did you stick the poster to the door with bubble gum?  Ewwww!

That would be sticky tack...

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I bet you scared a lot of kids on Halloween.  You probably made them answer math questions to get candy.  Or, you really scared them by giving out math worksheets.

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Hey, do you know how to cut someone else's finger off?

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Hey guys, have you ever wondered what Ms. Hagan's children would look like if she had an affair with the principal?

That would be a NO.  

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I found a random bobby pin on the floor, so I'm going to turn it into a shank.

4 comments:

  1. Here's one to add... Today I was writing on the board, and the student who sits in the back corner seat whispered something to the girl next to him. While I kept writing, I responded to what he said. One of the girls said, "Mrs. C. You have eagle ears." LOL!

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  2. Now I'm getting sad because there haven't been new posts recently! I hope over Thanksgiving I'll see new ones! Love, love, love your blog!

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    1. Sorry I haven't been blogging as much. My priorities have been changing lately. ;)

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