Math = Love: Things Teenagers Say: Volume 23

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Things Teenagers Say: Volume 23

I'm thinking that maybe I should rename "Things Teenagers Say" to "Chronicles of the Crazy Cat Lady Who Doesn't Actually Own a Cat" or something like that...  

You know things are bad when a reporter spends a day in your classroom, and your students tell said reporter about the fact that you are a crazy cat lady.  The reporter then asks the students just how many cats you own.  Zero.  Confusion follows.  Confusion and laughter.  



Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21 | Volume 22

Our FACS program includes a class on Marriage and Family.  One of the major projects students complete is planning and carrying out an entire wedding and wedding reception.  The class votes on two students to get married.  Other students in the class serve as bridesmaids and groomsmen.  Committees are formed to decorate for the wedding and the reception.  It's actually a big undertaking.  On the morning of the wedding, my class asked if we could postpone our lesson for fifteen or so minutes to attend the nuptials.  

Student:  Can we go to the fake wedding?
Me: I was really planning on us doing a math lesson today.
Student: But, I hear there's going to be cats in the goodie bags.

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Written on the cover of a student's algebra notebook:

Satan's Class... Welcome to Hell!

#soloved  

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You're right. I'm wrong. Let's eat pie.

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If you DM every girl in the state of Oklahoma, no one is going to date you.

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You're the only mean teacher in this school.

And, this is what I get for insisting we do math instead of watching a movie on the last two days before Thanksgiving Break...

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Your definition of fun and our definition of fun are not the same.

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Ms. Hagan, you won't live past the age of 25 if you give us homework on your birthday.

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Student 1: Tuck your shirt in. You look like a hillbilly.
Student 2: No he doesn't. He looks snazzy.

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Ms. Hagan, you're a mathaholic. You need rehab.

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I always knew Pi Girl was a villain.

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Student 1: Ms. Hagan, I saw something at the store, and it made me think of you.  So, I took a picture of it.  Do you want to see it?  
Me: Sure.  I'd love to know what made you think of your math teacher in the store.  
Student 1: It's a baby onesie.  If you had a baby, I would totally buy this onesie for them.  It has a cat on it, and it says, "Meow's it going?"  
Student 2: Wouldn't it be better to get Ms. Hagan's baby a mathematical onesie?  A onesie with a fraction on it would be adorable!  I wonder if they make those...

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You should do the right thing and date her best friend.

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Student 1: Ms. Hagan, did you know that I am addicted to shoes?  I have over 400 pairs.  
Me: No.  
Student 2:  Guys, I bet Ms. Hagan is the same way with plants as [Student 1] is with shoes.
Me: Guys, I seriously don't have that many plants.
Student 2:  I bet you have so many plants your house looks like a rainforest inside.  
Student 1:  Ooooh, you could paint all of your cats to look like tigers. Then, it would look like you had tigers wandering around in your rainforest.  
Me:  Y'all are never going to believe me when I say that I don't own any cats are you?

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If you could have an affair with any married celebrity,who would it be?

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Me: Class, I have sad news.  
Student: Did your cat die?  

So, I said this first hour.  This was not the response I was hoping for.  So, I tried it again to see if my next class would give me the same response.  Second hour, a student asked the same question.  Third hour, the same question. Fourth hour, I forgot to ask.  Fifth hour, another student asked me if my cat had died.  Sixth hour, the same thing happened all over again.

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Ms. Hagan is a totally different person now that she has a boyfriend. I can't even look at her the same way now. It's like we know we're not first in her life anymore...

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I'd rather cheat off you than cheat on you. 

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I just had a realization. All old people are is fermented babies.

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Let me see what you're doing in Algebra 2 so I can decide if I want to drop out or not.

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If your boyfriend breaks up with you, there are plenty of other coordinates on the plane.

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You being sarcastic is you saying you're good at math.

And, yes, this was directed at me.  #OUCH  

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You made this?!? I didn't think you ever did anything except eat lettuce.

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Dude, I've been baeless forever. You've been baeless for 3 days.

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I have handwriting like a dinosaur, man!

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You should get a pet bunny.  Then, you guys could share your food.  

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