Math = Love: Things Teenagers Say Volume 25

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Things Teenagers Say Volume 25

I can't believe I've already made it to Volume 25!  Here are the latest crazy things overheard in my classroom.



Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21 | Volume 22 | Volume 23 | Volume 24



Ms. Hagan, thanks for corrupting my mom.  She started reading your blog, and now she's going around and trying to use all the crazy phrases teenagers say.

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My sister said I need to be cuter so I can keep a boy for more than a week.

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Student: You're a dime plus ninety-nine.
Me: I'm a what?
Student: You know, a dime.  That's 10 plus 99.
Me: Okay...
Student: That means you're a 101.
Me: You might want to check your math there.

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Another Teacher: So, I heard a new rumor about you from a student this morning.
Me: Oh great.  What is it this time?
Teacher: The student said that you have an obsession with eating mustard.  You eat it on everything, including salad.
Me: Okay.  That is the most random, untrue rumor I've ever heard.

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Ms. Hagan, does your boyfriend have a pet giraffe?

#Australianboyfriendprobs

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Male Student: In the blank for period at the top of the paper, I wrote "two weeks late."

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Student: Are you wearing tights?
Me: Yes.
Student: But, those have feet in them.  Tights don't have feet in them.
Me: Tights do too have feet in them.
Student: No, pantyhose have feet in them.  Tights do not have feet.
Me: I promise you that you can buy tights that have feet in them.
Student: I'm going to have to look for some of these at the store!

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So, I told my mom you had a boyfriend. And, she's never met you. So, she was really confused about why I was telling her this. Then, she had you confused with another teacher. So, she had no idea why it would be a big deal that you had a boyfriend. But, she said she's happy for you.

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I asked my dad if I could put bread in the blender to see what happened, but he wouldn't let me.

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Can I have a different calculator?  I want one that's not from Texas.

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Student: Have you ever got pulled over by the cops?
Me: No.
Student: Well, if you ever did get pulled over, would you want to know how to get out of a ticket?
Me: Sure.  Tell me how to get out of a ticket.
Student: You start by taking all of your clothes off.  Then, you jump out of the car and run as fast as you can.
Me: This sounds more like a plan for getting arrested than getting out of a ticket.
Student:  Yeah.  But, you'll make sure that you end up on the news this way.  

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Me: Can anyone give an example of a mnemonic device?
Student: A calculator.

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Can I please go to the restroom?  I have to tinkle twinkle little star.  

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Student 1: He wasn't a very good teacher, but he sure was something to look at!
Student 2: Yeah, I asked for a LOT of help in his class!

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Is it okay to date your ex-boyfriend's brother?

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I don't get why we should have to learn all this stuff.  I mean we're never going to have to use it in real life anyway.  For example, why should I have to learn history?!?  Just so I can help my kids with their homework by telling them that Abraham Lincoln was the second president?  

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Student: You had AIDS last year?!?
Me: No.  I said I didn't have any classroom aides last year.

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Do you need that one trash sack commercial? [Don't get sad; get Glad.]

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Me: Name a famous inventor.
Student: Harrison Ford.
Me: Harrison Ford was not an inventor.
Student: Yeah he was.  He invented the assembly line.

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Can I call you Ms. H?  Cause you're a gangster.

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Your pencil sharpener works too well.

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Me: What are you doing behind my desk?  That is my domain.  
Student: If that's your domain, than this [pointing at the rest of the classroom] is your range!

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Student 1: Hey guys, do you want to feel something soft?  Come feel Student 2's hair.
Student 2: Gotta keep the mullet fresh.

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Does that say demon.com?  What is with you and all these satanic practices?  First, you asked us to ask ourselves "What would Satan do seriously?"  Now you want us to go to a Satan worshiping website.

(I may have a slight obsession with desmos.com.  And, for the record, I asked my students to ask themselves, "What would Slope Dude say?")

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Student: Do you have a napkin in here?  Because I'm not going to the bathroom! 
Me: Why won't you go to the bathroom?
Student: This school is haunted.  
Me: How are you going to handle going to school here all day for the next four years?
Student: I'll always make sure I go to the bathroom with a large group.  Then, the ghost can't get me.

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Look Ms. Hagan!  My thumb is a 90 degree angle! 

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We didn't play Witzzle yesterday.  That hurts my feelings!  

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I'm going to tell my future children that they have to take your class.  No excuses!

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Your desk was so clean yesterday.  What happened?

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Ms. Hagan, are you drinking germ-x?

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Facebook is for old people.  


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