Sunday, April 19, 2015
Things Teenagers Say: Volume 32
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21 | Volume 22 | Volume 23 | Volume 24 | Volume 25
Volume 26 | Volume 27 | Volume 28 | Volume 29 | Volume 30
She's married to my ex-future-husband.
Student: Ms. Hagan, do you get cream in your slushies at Sonic?
Me: I don't get slushies at Sonic.
Student: You haven't experienced life as life itself, then.
My elbows sometimes look like elephant skin.
Your hair looks like a cheerleader's pom-pom.
Student: Ms. Hagan, this textbook is almost as old as you are.
Me: What year is it from?
Student: The first issue date was 1998.
Me: You do realize what year I was born in, right?
Me: Yeah. That's quite a bit far away from 1998.
I don't know many old racist people. But, then again, I don't know that many old people.
Male Student: What if you cut your cords?
Female Student: Do you mean tie your tubes?
Male Student: Oh...
My baby's going to listen to Alice Cooper!
Student 1: This doll has nice Barbie boobs!
Student 2: My doll has nice boobs, too!
Student 1: No, it doesn't. See my doll's boobs are shiny. Your doll's boobs are matte.
My eye feels like glass, and I can't deal with it.
Twitter is just for rich people.
Student 1: Guys, I've been married 30 times.
Student 2: Did you know you can get married in each state?
Student 1: There's a lot of product in her hair.
Student 2: Are you sure there's no quotient in her hair?
You have selective hearing, Ms. Hagan. I used to get spankings for selective hearing.
I'm going to go home, eat some chocolate, and shave my legs at lunch.
Did you get your tattoo done professionally or in some alley by a guy named Berta?