Math = Love: Volume 44: Things Teenagers Say

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Volume 44: Things Teenagers Say

It doesn't seem like it's been that long since I posted Volume 43 of Things Teenagers Say!  I guess that just means my students have been on a roll lately...


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:


You're a math teacher.  You shouldn't be talking about alliteration!

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Did you know that mom spelled backwards is mom?

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I know how to play this game.  I'm like a geek at Battleship!

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I like your one earring.  I don't care how you lost the other one, so don't tell me the story.

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You glittered all over my bag!

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Student 1: She's bullying me with money.
Me: What?!?
Student 2: I won't give him a dollar

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Guys!  Use your inside heads!

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I'm so particular about my shoe laces.

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Yesterday, you were dressed like a banana.  Today, you're dressed like an unpeeled banana.

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Student 1: My marker is going out.
Student 2: Hey, at least you finally got someone to go out with you.

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Student 1: I have a hair in my sock.
Student 2: I have a foot in my sock.

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Student 1: I HATE Chinese food.
Student 2: And, Chinese food HATES you!

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I'm going to file a bullying report on you for not wearing socks.

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My future plans are to marry a rich old man and die young in my 30's.

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Heroin is bad for your health.  Cocaine isn't as bad for your health.

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I have more chins than friends.

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A student describing their dream: 

You were dead because you got into a polygamist husband fight.

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Student 1: What happened to your sister?
Student 2: All I know is that she did SOMETHING to her knee, and they are going to have to do SOMETHING to her knee.

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Student 1: What does your bracelet say?
Student 2: Ecuador.
Student 3: Isn't Ecuador the place where they build floors?

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Mr. Carter should wear a suit covered in Christmas lights to prom since he is the light of your life.

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Student: I just noticed that lifeguard is misspelled in this problem.
Me: Oops.
Student: Yeah, it's life G - U - A - R - D.
Me: That's how you spell lifeguard.
Student: Is it?  My friend used to be a lifeguard, and he always told me it was spelled G - A - U - R - D.

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Student: Would you ever date a communist?
Me: Given that I'm married, no I would not date a communist.
Student: What if Mr. Carter wasn't in the picture?

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Student 1: There's a peculiar stain on the carpet in the back of your classroom.  I wish to know what happened.
Student 2: That's where she killed...
Student 1: ...George Clooney.  I know.
Student 3: George Clooney is dead?!?

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4 comments:

  1. Kids are hilarious. On Monday I arrived at work and was met by "Hi Miss Carter, can you teach me how to count to 60 in Chinese?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So, can you count to 60 in Chinese? ;)

      Delete
  2. Thought you might like this... we were playing a Valentine's Day version of Taboo to get class started. I heard this exact statement:
    "You don't kiss with cake and ice cream!"

    ReplyDelete