Math = Love: Volume 47: Things Teenagers Say

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Volume 47: Things Teenagers Say

Welcome to another volume of Things Teenagers Say!  This is a compilation of interesting things that have been said by my students over the last couple of weeks.  Enjoy!


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:


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Student 1: I haven't had data in two months.
Student 2: I haven't had data in two years.
Student 1: I would kill myself.

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Student 1: If I weighed 900 pounds, I would be really good at football.
Student 2: You wouldn't be able to run if you weighed 900 pounds.
Student 1: You don't have to run in football!

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You can roll an astronaut down a hill, but you don't see people doing it!

Said while students were playing Slapzi (affiliate link).  

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Goldfish are NOT sold in hardware stores.

Also said while students were playing Slapzi (affiliate link).  

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Student: I'm giving up on school.
Me: Why?
Student: This waking up thing is just too much.

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He's a good singer but for the wrong band.

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Student: My mom is crazy.
Me: Two Nice Things.
Student:  She has a nice daughter, and I like the color of her bedspread.

Note: Two Nice Things is probably the rule I enforce the most in my classroom.  If students say something mean about someone else, they have to make amends by saying two nice things in return. 

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It's like me and armpits.  They freak me out.  I HATE armpits.

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You just spit all over my paper.  You are going to switch papers with me now.  I just have to take my name off of it.

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A stick can't swim, so it ain't a fish.

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Student 1: Ewww...there's an open cough drop in my bag that got wet.
Student 2: Give it to me.  I want it!

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Hey Mrs. Carter!  Have you ever seen a sicker pair of crocs?

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Don't judge my split ends.

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Ready, Set, H2O!

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If it rains at 2:00 p.m. I am getting away from you.  You are cursed!

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Some kid in my food prep class yesterday asked me the ingredients to a scrambled egg.

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Now, don't let your Angle Side Side show.

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I had a toupee before I got my hair cut.

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Student 1: *Sneeze*
Student 2: God Bless You.
Student 1: God doesn't bless demons.

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If you drop out of high school when you're 18, your family will most likely shun you.

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I'm playing Connect Four because my life is sad.

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Why would you use a lighter to light a match?

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Student 1: It's hotter than that place.
Student 2: Hell?
Student 1: No, heaven.
Student 2: Heaven?
Student 1: I said it's hotter than that place.

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Student 1:What's Easter?
Student 2: Really?
Student 1: Oh.  It's that holiday where you sit around the tree and trade presents.
Student 2: That's Christmas.
Student 1: I thought Christmas was when you went door to door and asked for candy.

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Student 1: How far do negative numbers go?
Student 2: Probably as far as positive numbers go.
Student 1: How far do they go?

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Can you get liposuction on your finger?  Because my finger is so fat.

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2 comments:

  1. Hi, I've been a follower of your's for several months and I was wondering how you keep a record of things teens say. I feel I have communication problems w my students but if I could bring it to light, it would help with class culture. Thanks in advance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I normally scribble things on post-it notes and type them up when I have a chance. If I don't write it down RIGHT AWAY, I forget!

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