Math = Love: Things Teenagers Say Volume 15: Vampires, Bad Jokes, and Jellyfish

Monday, September 8, 2014

Things Teenagers Say Volume 15: Vampires, Bad Jokes, and Jellyfish

Welcome to Volume 15 of Things Teenagers Say.  Each and every statement below was uttered by a student in my classroom.  Teaching high school math is NEVER dull.  :)

View Previous Installments:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10


What not to say to your teacher:

Student 1: Ms. Hagan, how do you have so many twitter followers?
Me: What can I say?  People just like me.
Student 2: And, how are cooler on twitter than you are in class?


Student: You're evil. But, you're a sweet kind of evil.
Me: Thanks???


After introducing my function machines to my Algebra 1 students:

Student: Did you know that naming things like this is a sign that you're going crazy?


You should date my brother.  He's an old soul just like you.


My boyfriend kisses like a jellyfish.



Student: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Me: No.
Student: I haven't vacuumed my carpet in seven years.


Student: If you change the N to a W, it would say "Class Worms."
Me: Thank you for that wonderful insight.  


We should make algebra a contact sport.  When somebody gets something wrong, their desk should get tackled.


Student 1: Do you know what I did this morning?  I couldn't find my belt, so I decided to use a bungee cord to hold up my pants.
Student 2: You can use a bungee cord for anything!
Me: I don't even think I own a bungee cord.
Student 2:  What type of person doesn't own a bungee cord?


Did you know looking at your phone can give you a double chin?


How can I make my leg wake up other than telling it to wake up?  Because I told it to wake up, and it didn't work.


Student: What happens if you swallow a bug?
Me: You die.
Student: [Gasp] I think I just swallowed a bug.  


Every day, I write a greeting on the SMART Board on the slide that tells students what supplies they will need for the day.  It's usually something along the lines of "Have a Wonderful Wednesday!" or "Start thinking of your good thing!"  Last Thursday, the board read, "Happy Baby Friday!"  Growing up, my mom sometimes referred to Thursday as "Baby Friday."  Apparently, my students have never heard of this before.  

All day long, I heard, "But, Ms. Hagan!  It's not Friday!" when students walked in the classroom.  I didn't say it was Friday.  I said it was "Baby Friday."  Yeah, I'm not sure they fully comprehended my message.  It did lead to some interesting comments.  

Student:  Shouldn't it be called Teenage Friday?
Me: What?
Student:  Baby Friday should actually be called Teenage Friday.  Then, Wednesday could be Baby Friday.  Thursday could be Teenage Friday.  And Friday could just be Friday.

Another Student: Baby Friday?  I think the lack of meat is going to your head.


On a Thursday...

Student: Guys!  It's one day early to be making fun of Ms. Hagan's jokes.


Ms. Hagan, I heard your boyfriend broke up with you because he found out you were a teacher.  Is that true?


Note to self.  Do not tell jokes about vampires and teachers unless you want to be accused of being a vampire.  Rookie mistake. 

Me: What do you get if you cross a vampire and a teacher?
Student: Ms. Hagan

(and in another class)

Me: What do you get if you cross a vampire and a teacher? 
Student: A Math Teacher

Me: Guys, do you really think I'm a vampire?
Student: I bet you sleep in a coffin.
Another Student: Maybe this is why we never see you outside the school.
Yet Another Student:  Your legs do kinda remind me of a vampire's legs.  They're so white, almost like porcelain.


#TMC14 was held at Jenks High School.  The other day, some of my students were hypothesizing what it would be like to go there.  

Student: Can you imagine what it would be like to go to a school like Jenks?  I bet their hallway is like a Calvin Klein runway show.


The ag teacher told me how you teach.  You teach in such a way that we don't realize we're learning stuff.  We just come to class and think we're having fun.  But, you're actually teaching us math!  Good job Ms. Hagan!  


  1. Good job that the Ag teacher knows how you teach! (And please tell me most of these comments came from Freshmen!)

    1. This is my second year to teach the Ag teacher's son, so that helps!

      Most of them were from freshmen. :) Except for the ones that were from my junior/senior trig students...

  2. Oh those vampire comments are hilarious. 2nd day of school a student grabbed my hair and asked "is this real?" Then another student shouts "mrs. Longworth has a weave!"

    The next day I countered back by whispering to the kid "is my wig on straight today?"

    1. LOVE it!

      And, I see that you're thinking about starting a blog. So exciting! :)